Coming Out
by kindakrazymess
Summary: Ezra Bridger...a teen who finally finds what could be his new home. But he knows he has something important to take care of...but fear consumes him. Can his loved ones help him?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys!**

 **I should really be focusing on Thirio, but this idea was just floating in my mind and I needed to get it down. I actually wrote this in the hospital while my husband's arm was being stitched up. Short story: my mother's chihuahua 'Mango' attacked him.**

 **First of all let me just say: The latest SWR episode...is probably the best one ever! Space whales and they all have their original charm and humor and family sense, plus Ezra's innocent demeanor that we all fell in love with.**

 **Ok, now: This story...it will get really sad, and awkward, and loving, and caring, and depressing.**

 **Don't worry, this won't get very graphic, nothing more than like, kissing or like (non sexual ahem) slapping**

 **This idea came from the heart, and is inspired by one of my very good friends. He is going to be helping me put his raw emotions into this story. The joy, pain, guilt, fear, determination, and so many more feeling will be here.**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

 **-0-**

Every once in a while the Ghost crew got a day off.

Kanan usually spent his free time reading the latest best selling novel or looking for a new flavor of tea for the kitchen. Hera loved to go walking around in the shopping centers. She never actually bought much, but she liked to be up to date on the latest trends. Sabine did what any artist would do: create. Whether she was spending her savings on a new paint or pencils, or perhaps finding a new technique for her ombre rebel symbols, the girl used every moment of spare time to its fullest. Zeb...he did one of his three favorite things: sleep, play a hologram game, or read the latest news on his holopad. As for the crew's droid, Chopper, he would either recharge or play pranks, chasing either the Lasat or kid around the ship.

And then there was the kid.

Ezra, the boy of fifteen, could be found running around trying to tire his seemingly never ending energy. Or he was eating. The boy could never get enough to eat. The crew had at first been worried about his large appetite when he first joined. They thought it was because he unstable sources of food from years on the harsh streets. But in reality? It was just a teenage boys never ending hunger.

The concern for Ezra began to rise again when after an entire week of very relaxed days on Lothal, he was doing neither of his two usual activities.

One morning while everyone sat in the kitchen, eating their respected breakfast items, Ezra strolled in.

Clearing his throat he spoke, "Uh guys?"

The crew turned towards him.

Zeb stopped buttering his toast. "What, you gonna sing us a song?"

Ezra's face turned beet red. "No!"

Kanan smirked, taking a sip from his coffee. "What is it kid?"

"Uh-...well, I wanted to tell you guys something." Ezra began, messing with his hair a little.

Sabine snorted, "Yeah kid, we got that part."

Ezra rolled his eyes. "You guys are impossible."

Hera sighed before popping a berry in her mouth. "Ezra, continue please."

"Uh right...Um, so I met this person at the market, and I really want you guys to meet them."

Zeb raised a brow. "Them?"

"No it's just one person." Ezra replied.

Kanan jumped in "And their name is-?"

"Um..." Ezra fidgeted.

"Oh I see!" Zeb laughed, spitting out part of his breakfast in laughter. "Kids met a girl!"

Ezra's face reddened more. "No! Not a girlfriend excuse me."

Kanan finished his cup. "Better not be a girlfriend. No relationships, remember?"

Ezra huffed at the Jedi rule reminder. "I-...I think it'd be better if you guys met him. He's been gone for a while."

"How so?" Hera asked.

"Well, his dad works as a galactic merchant, and he usually imports off world supplies into Lothal." Ezra answered.

Sabine nodded. "So would we meet this friend when?"

Ezra coughed. His face was now the color of fire. "He-...Can I bring him here? This afternoon?"

"I dunno buddy, are you sure you can trust this guy?" Zeb asked.

"I'd trust him with my life! His family was traveling for the past few months looking for a quicker port route, and he's back on Lothal for a long time now. I've known him since I was like...nine?"

"Well..." Kanan thought.

"Please? I really want you guys to meet him." Ezra begged.

"Fine." Hera decided. "Bring him here in four hours."

Ezra breathed a sigh in relief. "Thank you guys!" And he ran out the door.

Sabine turned to Hera. "I still think he's seeing some girl in town."

Kanan chuckled. "Probably. I keep getting crazy up and down moods signals from him."

 **-0-**

Ezra dodged his way through the crowded Lothal streets, making his way to an alley. He opened the sewer hole and dropped down. He walked about two miles of different directions of pipes he had remembered by heart until he finally found what he was looking for. A rather large dry ledge that would have hung above liquid...if there had been any. There was a couple of items on the ledge but they didn't interest the young boy. The person sitting on the ledge end intrigued him more.

As soon as Ezra was in the faint glow of a strong bulb handing from the ceiling, the person jumped off the ledge, tackling the boy in a bone crushing hug.

This individual had tanned skin like Ezra, but was about four or five inches taller. They had ruffled dark brown locks and cocoa eyes. They were dressed in a light blue uniform outfit and standard sandals. Diamond earrings glinted from their ears, a common fad.

The person suddenly pushed Ezra against the wall, running their dark fingers through his blue hair. Ezra's own gloved hands were still wrapped around the slim waist of his hugger. They were quickly interlocked in a long yet completely love filled kiss. They were in love.

Ezra pulled away. "Miss me?"

They laughed. "Ezra Bridger you never fail to make me laugh."

Brown eyes interlocked with blue.

"And you, John Nova never fail to laugh at my awful jokes." Ezra teased, pecking the taller boy on his nose.

John smirked. "Did you talk to your crew?"

"Yeah.." Ezra sighed, stepping a few paces back. "We have about two hours."

John nodded. "That's good, right?"

Ezra nodded back. "Yeah of course..."

John's eyes suddenly narrowed. "You didn't say I was your boyfriend, did you?"

Ezra looked away.

"Ezra!" John groaned. "I thought you were going to tell them!"

"I know! I just-..." Ezra sighed.

"Oh my god Ezra, do they even know you're gay?!" John snapped.

Ezra's eyes widened with emotion. "I...No, no they think i'm straight."

John moaned. "Babe, you gotta tell them!"

"But Jedi aren't even suppose to have relationships! Kanan is mad at me enough for 'flirting' with Sabine at first. He thinks i'm undisciplined and don't care about the rules."

"Forget the damn rules! I love you! Don't you love me?!" John cried.

A tear ran down Ezra's face. "I do! You don't know how hard this is for me! Your family was so open! Half of your siblings are homosexuals! Hell, one of them is trans!"

"I have twelve sisters and brothers, what do you expect?" John snorted.

"I was an only child! My parents were not supportive of...this lifestyle." Ezra blushed.

John pulled himself up on the concrete slab. "Right...I forget you were part of a nuclear family."

"Was...but all my life I just..." Ezra began, pulling up next to John.

"Didn't find girls to be all that?" John chuckled.

"Yeah...But then we met and I felt the same way other guys felt about girls...I was so scared and then you told me you were gay-"

"And then I asked you out." John smiled. "The look on your face!"

Ezra laughed himself, "The look on your face when I said yes!"

"I can't believe that was a year ago." John sighed. "But in all seriousness...you have to be honest with your crew."

"I know..."

"Sexuality is a major part of anyones personality. And if your crew can't accept who you are, then babe, I hate to be the one to say it, but, then maybe you shouldn't be with them."

"But where would I go?" Ezra whispered.

"My bunk." John said matter of factly.

Ezra rolled his eyes. "John i'm being serious. I can't go back to the streets."

"Ezra i'm being serious. If the ghost crew rejects your decisions, then you always have a place with me and my family. You know my family loves you too." The brunette said.

"You really mean it?" Ezra asked.

"I do." John whispered, giving the navy haired boy a quick kiss on the lips.

 **-0-**

 **There just isn't enough variations in terms of sexuality in Star Wars (rebels) in general. It is usually man-woman relationship and I know there are a few others, but with the recent-ish ground breaking same-sex marriage across the US, I thought this was called for. Ezra is such an interesting character, and while I know he seems to be crushing on a certain Mandalorian artist, I think with him being just the awkward boy he is, why couldn't he have a boyfriend? John Nova is a character I did make up, i'm not aware of there being a actual John Nova is star wars, but if there is, this isn't him. In my mind John provides the kind of love, care and support Ezra needs, and just wants our favorite padawan to be happy. (John is about Ezra's age)**

 **And if anyone is struggling with any sort of problem, whether it be coming out to loved ones, or maybe depression, or maybe you just can't decide on what color them you want your bathroom to be...Please talk to me. And just know: Whoever you are, whatever you do, and as long as you're healthy and happy: You're beautiful and amazing.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys!**

 **First, I want to thank everyone who left kind words and such :)**

 **Now, I'm sorry, but for those of you who wanted me to make John into a girl...I don't know. Without the struggling with sexuality aspect this story would fall apart. If you have an idea you want me to try to write please don't hesitate to tell me. I'm sorry if homosexuality or transgender or gender fluidity etc upsets you or is against what you believe, but if this story does offend you...maybe its not the best read for you? If you do hate the fact that Ezra is struggling with being a gay teen in my story, then please, click off. I'd be happy to give you a list of stories where Ezra is straight and has a girlfriend, there are plenty and a lot of them are great! This story is just what I think would happen if Ezra had been gay.**

 **So, without further ado...Please enjoy**

-0-

A small boy of six watched with curiousity as two women kissed each other on the lips. Why would women kiss each other on the lips? Friends didn't do that, nor did female relatives. The only people who ever kissed on the lips were couples. But all couples he had met were man and woman...right?

The boy tugged at his mother's sleeve. The mother, a petite woman who was as beautiful as she was small, looked down to her child.

"Yes darling?" She smiled, crouching down to his level.

The boy took her warm hand and said, "Mommy? Can women love each other?"

The mother laughed. "Of course! I love my female friends, and I loved my mother very much."

"No...but like, can they like-like each other?" The kid asked, eye brows scrunched together.

She looked surprised. "What?"

"Can women be in love with each other like you and Daddy are?" He asked again.

She seemed to process this thought for less than a moment before her face hardened.

"No. A woman to lust a woman in that way is wrong. Same for a man to lust a man. It's wrong and disgusting." She snapped, standing up. "Come on Ezra, we're going home."

-0-

Imagine a secret of yours. The one you never told your best friend, your parents, or anyone. Everyone has one. You know once you tell your loved ones, some of them will dissaprove, maybe even shun you. Would you tell your secret or keep it away in fear?

Lothal was a fairly small planet. Mostly small farmers and a trading/docking planet. Secrets got around. Neighbors were nosy, rumors spread faster than a wildfire in dry grass. Before the Empire showed up, Lothal had been a planet where everyone knew everyone, and nothing was sacred. And even after the Empire, people were still the same farming closed off people. Anything different was scary.

Colorful dyed hair? The talk for years.

Male hair longer than the chin? Stared at.

The last of a species? Whispered about.

An advanced droid? Uncomprehensable.

Woman with a male dominated job? Frowned at.

Being transgender, gender fluid, homosexual, bisexual any many more were all seen as...well...bad.

When Ezra was young he remembered his father sitting him down and asking him if he liked any of the girls in his kindergarten class. The six year old shook his head no and replied that girls were 'icky'. Ephraim had laughed, saying that he would come around.

But then things had taken a dark turn.

"Daddy?" Little Ezra asked.

"Hm?" Ephraim answered.

The father and son sat on the edge of the grain fields, staring at the sunset.

"How do you know you like-like someone?" He asked hesitantly.

Ephraim chuckled. "Well, you feel anxious when you're around them. You might act awkward, and you're heart flutters."

Ezra nodded very seriously. Or, as seriously as a toddler could nod.

"Then I do think I like someone." Ezra yawned.

"Oh? Who's the lucky girl?" Ephraim prodded.

"You know them. Remember Trystin? We had a playdate last week." Ezra smiled fondly.

"Of course I know him. Trystin Mason, good boy. Gonna be tall like his father. You like his big sister?" Ephraim smiled in joy at his son's 'love'.

"What? N-No, she's-...pretty...but she's too old." Ezra shrugged.

"Not too much older than you. I believe she turns nine in June." Ephraim observed.

Ezra shook his head. "No Daddy you're not listening to me."

"Son, it's getting late. We should head back home or your mother will have our hides." Ephraim began walking back to their house, a smile plastered on his bearded face.

Ezra stayed behind for a few seconds. He stared at the sun, feeling tears well up in his blue eyes.

"Why can't anyone understand?..." He whispered to himself.

-0-

Ezra shook his head.

The Ghost crew would understand, right? They weren't uptight or traditional really.

Hera was a female twi'lek who could fly a ship better than any man in the galaxy. Piloting was usually a male job; helmets, head gear, suits, shoes all made for pilots of the male species. Sure, there were a few female flyers out there, but none of them were a twi'lek, and none of them came as close to being as skilled as Hera was.

Hera's personality, however, could be described in one word: caring.

She always made sure everyone had eaten, even Ezra, who could eat the entire kitchen. The woman only ever got mad in very serious situations, like life or death, and that was usually only when she was in the sky flying. But she just had a way...of knowing when something was off with her crew. Ezra was still convinced that she was force sensitive in some way. Even if a crew mate had a problem as simple as needing new shoe laces or a patch on their elbow, Hera was there with advice and help.

Plus she was the one who first voted to go back to that Imperial base and rescue him.

But that had been when she thought Ezra was straight.

Would she have done the same if she had known Ezra was gay?

...

Then there was his bunkmate: Zeb.

One of the last Lasats. Not a genius, but still smart.

At first, the boy and Lasat had a rocky relationship. Zeb didn't want him around. He had stolen one of their crates, caused a mess, and almost got them in some deep...trouble. Then they were forced to share a room.

Strain was evident between them. However, as time did pass, they found themselves growing closer. Maybe it started out with the adventure of the Meiloorun. And then simple jokes, light pushes, friendly wrestling. By present day...they called each other 'buddy' and were extremely overprotective of one another, not that either of them would ever say it out loud.

Lasan had been a planet of all Lasats, not many other species ever came by, and the people liked it that way. Privacy together in a way.

But then the Empire came, destroying Lasan and most of its inhabitants. Zeb had been quite bitter for a while, not wanting to see anyone, talk, or do much. After joining the crew his shell of a personality cracked, letting himself be free once more.

Zeb and Ezra's relationship was still growing, and still had its fragile parts.

Ezra couldn't help but think about once he said the truth, their bond would shatter like glass.

When Ezra had first met John, they had both been roughly nine. They didn't become more than friends until they were both thirteen or fourteen. But then John had gone away for about a year with his family. Ezra, at the time, thought they would never see each other again.

So he tried to move on.

Forget that they had ever been together.

In the harsh year that he was fourteen, he ignored his feelings. He stuck to the shadows, not wanting any interaction out of fear. Fear that if he talked to a woman others would notice he didn't seemed flustered or interested. Fear that if he talked to a male he blushed or was awkward.

Lothal was an unforgiving place. Heavy rain in the winter, water boiling temperatures in the summer.

While the environment seemed harsh, the people were even more so.

Maybe in terms that more people might understand...

Everyone wears green clothes. Not wearing green is seen as wrong and disgusting. So you wear green. But you hate green, it just isn't interesting or fun, and it is not what you want. You want to wear yellow. It's your favorite color, and it has been since you were very young. So you try it. You found that you're finally happy with yourself. But only a few people wear yellow, and everyone who wears green shuns you. So you're forced to go back to green.

You're unhappy.

And the green clothes you wear turn into a hard shell, like one of a turtle. No one can break your shell, you never let anyone see that under your thick green shell...is yellow.

Sabine was gorgeous. She was everything that Lothal was not. Different, spunky, and colorful. From her hair to her attitude, she was never dull, and Ezra liked that.

But...even after his awkward attempts to flirt with the woman, something still felt off.

Every time he perhaps pictured holding her hand, the thought seemed to catch fire and burn quickly. His mind didn't really want to be with her like that. But then he would think about John Nova. John's laugh, his welcoming family, their time together. And when Ezra pictured them holding hands...the idea didn't turn to ashes, it grew stronger and more vivid.

His heart was speaking to him.

Would Sabine be offended? Would she grow cross that he only faked to have a crush on her? Would she think that she wasn't good enough?

Ezra wiped his eyes.

As a Jedi in training, he knew the standard rules.

No relationships.

Most Jedi never knew their birth parents. Only their master and others at the temple. Love was forbidden.

The padawan had been relieved when he first learned this rule. It meant now he could forever shut out his feelings. But then one day he bumped into someone at the marketplace in Lothal. Their relationship had rekindled immediately, and for about a month, everything was smooth.

Now John wanted Ezra to be truthful with his crew.

And Ezra was most afraid of Kanan's reaction.

He couldn't do this...He couldn't. And he wouldn't.

-0-

Ezra had yet to return with his guest.

It was about four in the evening, and the Ghost crew was worried

Not everyday Ezra opened up or shared something personal, and he was only ever late to something by a few minutes, much less hours.

The crew members sat huddled in the rec room, whispering to each other.

"I bet six credits he's with a girl." Zeb said.

Sabine nodded. "I'm with Zeb. He hasn't flirted with me for a month."

Kanan rolled his eyes in response. "He knows that if he wants to be a Jedi he can't have any relationships."

"Well love, he wasn't raised in a Jedi temple since birth." Hera spoke, smoothing her lekku.

"Where would he be for four hours? He's only fifteen, should we look for him?" Sabine asked.

"I'm with Sabine. Maybe we should look in his tower. What if he's hurt?" Hera said, thinking about her youngest crew member.

Kanan nodded. "I agree. Grab your speeders, we have to find him"

-0-

John waited by the outside of Lothal until four.

Ezra had promised to pick him up at twelve to meet his new crew...and four hours was a ridiculous time to be late for such an important event.

John stood up crossly. It was time to look for Ezra.

-0-

 **Alright! I hope you guys liked that!**

 **Please review, I love hearing from you guys :)**

 **-Shelby**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys!**

 **Sorry for the wait, but I hope you guys enjoy!**

 **If you have any questions don't be afraid to ask :)**

-0-

Ezra had been alone for more than half of his life. And he was starting to think that that was how he was meant to be...isolated.

He had more than one hiding spot on Lothal. Places only he knew. Places the Ghost crew or John or anybody would never look.

He had found this particular hiding spot when he was about eight. He hadn't met John yet, or the Ghost crew of course. Mira and Ephraim Bridger had been gone for over a year. Young Ezra had been running around in a grain field on Lothal, chasing lothcats and bumble bees when he stopped to rest at one of the huge boulders. As he caught his breath, he looked around. The sky was a clear blue, the sun was shining, a cool breeze kept him refreshed. Besides the soft mewing and prancing of the field cats, all was still on the planet. Ezra walked the perimeter of the rock. Usually lothcats would burrow until the large stones to keep cool during summer, and who knows? Maybe one or two was burrowed there. Chasing the wildcats was young Ezra Bridger's few past times. He never hurt them, only used them as playmates. Ezra was surprised to find a fairly large hole at the base of the rock. With his small, meaty, child hands, he dug until he could fit in the hole...and suddenly tumbled into a empty cave. He squealed in excitement and fear as he pulled a flash light from his back pack. Shining it around, Ezra saw that the large rock was in fact hollow.

A grin that seemed bigger than his face grew, as he explored his new fort.

Present day Ezra wiggled his way into the hole.

He wasn't as small as he had been when he was eight, but he was still much smaller than the average boy his age. With some squirming, he was able to squeeze back into his childhood fortress. He pulled out his lightsaber and ignited it, lighting the small cave. The chalk drawing he had made were still perfectly preserved, along with a old sketchbook, crayons, and a musty blanket. Ezra plopped down in his old 'usual' spot.

Maybe it'd be better if he stayed in the cave.

-0-

John was definitely worried now.

He had searched every tunnel, cave, ledge, and crevice in the sewers. Plus he searched Ezra's childhood home from top to bottom, not that there was much to look around in. He asked every street vendor, civilian, and well...person(besides Imperials) if they had seen a boy of Ezra's description.

None had.

Hideouts, forts, caves, vents, all of the place Ezra had been in or would be were empty. It was as if the teen had simply disappeared. But John knew better than that. Ezra was not a creature of habit.

Some days he would get up at 4 am, eat nothing, and just want to stare at the clouds.

Others, he woke at 2 in the afternoon, spend the rest in bed reading books.

The best days were when he woke up at 7, and they ran into the fields of Lothal, playing silly games, laughing loudly, and just...being happy.

Alas, while they had spent the majority of ages nine through thirteen together, the majority of the past year had been apart. And Ezra had a whole new world around him. He was a freaking Jedi now! He stole from the rich and gave to the poor. A space Robinhood, like the ones in their childhood story books.

John sat down. He didn't know where to look. If Ezra didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be found.

"I'm sorry Ezra. I failed you." John whispered, his throat feeling tight. The suffocating feeling right before you were about to sob your heart out.

And so he did.

Tear seemed to simply pour from his soul, his heart weeping.

"Why..." John slurred, collapsed to lay down. He was on the famous ledge where they had named their 'meeting' place for the past month. "Why can't he understand...that I love him?"

He held his hands to his face. A horrible thought suddenly crossed his mind.

"What if he never loved me?"

His heart sank a level, seeming to dissolve in his stomach. As much as he wanted to deny the thought...he had to think it over.

A ten year old John Nova pushed a cargo filled crate.

Usually the young boy loved helping out with his father's business. It made him feel like a man. Like his dad and his older brothers.

But today he was upset. His three older brothers, including one of his older siblings who was transgender from female to male, all got to listen to their father negotiate a deal over the work com. And he didn't. Instead, he was 'in charge' of making sure he and his younger brother got the crates full of supplies loaded into a ship.

With a sudden outburst, he shoved the crate he had been pushing into the ship.

His younger brother, Sean, who was seven at the time, started to yell. "Papi's gonna be mad!"

"Shut it! You're too young to understand!" He hissed, plopping down angrily.

"Am not! Just cause you're bigger doesn't mean you're better!" Sean snapped, stamping his little foot.

John hissed back, "Tell that to Papi! It's not fair. Why am I here?! I should be with him!"

Sean started pushing the last crate into the storage compartment. "I'm not allowed to fill a shipment by myself yet. Plus Papi barely let Eddi go, and he's twelve!"

"But i'm ten! I'm basically an adult." John huffed.

"Pssh yeah right." Sean shut the door. "You're acting like a baby."

"I am not!" John yelled, feeling tears well up in his eyes.

"Are too!" Sean squealed, taking off running towards their home.

"You're so annoying!" John screamed at his brother's running form.

The boy stood up, kicking dirt with his boot. "It's still not fair..."

 _Clunk!_

John's head snapped towards the ship.

...Nothing. It must've been nothing...right?

 _Clack-clack!_

Something was definitely going on in the cargo ship now. Maybe a rat? A lothcat?

John gulped and clicked the open button, exposing the ship's compartment to the suns.

He was definitely not expecting what he saw.

A boy, maybe a little younger and a lot smaller than him, with matching blue hair and eyes, stood in the center of the storage room. He had a very full backpack on and looked genuinely surprised to see him.

"AHHHHHH!" John shrieked.

"AHHHHHH!" The strange boy screamed back.

The thief suddenly ran forward, trying to make an escape.

'Now's my chance! I can prove how manly I am!' John thought. If he caught the burglar, his dad would see that he was old enough! Right?!

And so he tackled the boy.

They both let out a big ' _umph'_ and tumbled onto the dirt. The boy's face suddenly contorted in pain, and he began to cry, cradling his wrist towards his chest.

John groaned and stood up, stars fading from his eyes. He blinked away tears as he looked at his scraped elbows. No...men don't cry.

The boy still lay on the ground, sobbing in agony. His backpack had slipped off and spilled its content of...ration bars. Ration bars were pretty nasty, but they gave people the nutrition they needed from a full meal, they just didn't cost as much. But there was a bunch of stuff worth more in the ship...why take food?

John didn't know what to do. The kid was obviously hurt, more than scrapes and more than a bandaid was needed. Had he broken his wrist? Sprang it? Sprung it? John shook his head in confusion.

"Hey...A-Are you okay?" He asked nervously.

The boy didn't answer. He just lay there crying.

"I-Is your arm...?" John stuttered.

"M-Mom..." The hurt boy suddenly cried out.

John took a step back. "What?"

"I want my Mom!" He howled, curling into a tighter ball.

"Uh-, Okay. Um, where is your Mom?"

The boy sobbed, shoulders shaking awfully. "She's gone!"

"How about I take you to my Mom? Okay? She can help your wrist." John suggested.

He seemed to consider it for a second, for his sobs seemed to even more.

"She won't hurt you...we-...we aren't Imperials." John said with a wince. What if this kid was an Imperial? No wait, why would an Imperial steal? Weren't they all rich and fat?

The boy's crying stopped.

John felt his stomach grow into a pit as he realized the boy was now unconscious.

"Mom is going to be so mad..." He hissed, running a hand through his dark brown hair. With a large sigh, he heaved the boy up, down the alley, and up the stairs to his families complex.

By now he was coated in sweat, perspiration drenching his shirt. The boy he was dragging wasn't heavy, in fact his siblings who were younger weighed more than him. It was the blazing hot Lothal sun.

"Mo-o-o-om?!" John yelled out into the living space, wincing as he dropped the boy on the floor.

There was a pregnant pause before a rough woman's voice called out, "Wha-a-a-at?!"

"Uh...Can you come here?!"

"...Why?!"

"Please?! Mom...?"

Another pause.

Suddenly loud steps rang throughout the home, and a tall woman came out. She was roughly six foot, with dark coal hair and emerald eyes.

"What do you wa-" She began, stopping when she saw the unconscious boy at her ten year old's feet.

She sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Johnathan Randall Nova! What. Did. You. Do!?"

The woman pulled the unresponsive child onto their couch, examining him for wounds.

"Ma it was an accident!" John whined.

"Is he one of your friends?" Mrs. Nova asked, finding the hurt arm.

John frantically shook his head. "No! He was trying to steal some of our cargo so I tackled him and he fell funny!"

She sighed. "Well, poor thing's gotta broken arm. Go grab me some bandages and our med-kit."

John's eyes widened in emotion. "But Mom! He's a thief! He's bad!"

"Jonathan! Go!" She yelled. "And bring your sister out too!"

The ten year old grumbled in protest, but marched off down the hall, grabbing the medkit. He charged into his older sister's room.

Rolling his eyes he snarled, "Mari? Mom wants you."

John's older sister, a girl of eleven and almost identical to her mother, looked up from the magazine she was reading.

"Why?" She asked.

"Just come on." John huffed, leading her into their living room.

On arrival, the boy had now been wrapped in various blankets, and a cool cloth was covering his forehead and injured appendage.

"Mari," Their mother spoke, "Go make lunch for this boy."

Mari nodded unsurely but went off to their kitchen. John watched with horror as his mother snapped the arm bone back to place, the unconscious squirming in agony.

His mother gently wrapped the swollen limb in bandages. She placed a cooler cloth to replace the old on his brow as she stood.

"John, you cover him with a blanket and stay with him until he wakes up." She lectured, stalking off to find her husband.

"B-But Mom! He's a criminal!" John whined, throwing a blanket over the body.

"Stay with him or you're grounded!" A stern voice yelled from the house.

John groaned and plopped down. So not fair.

 **-0-**

 **Hoped you guys enjoyed that and please review! I read them all :)**

 **-Shelby**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys!**

 **Sorry for the wait, I know its been like a month!**

 **And someone asked me for a timeline,** **so heres what I think is going on:**

 **6 am - Ezra and John discuss meeting the crew**

 **9 am - Ezra talks to crew**

 **11 am - Ezra is suppose to meet John again, Ezra doesn't show**

 **12 pm - crew is suppose to meet John, Ezra never shows**

 **So its about...4 pm right now in this story**

-0-

Kanan was worried.

He hadn't seen his padawan in hours, and Ezra had looked anxious to show the crew his new friend. Why would he just bail? So the possibilities on what could have happened to Ezra flew through his mind.

Would a Imperial recognize him already?

No...the boy had only been with the crew for a few months. Plus he was smart enough to dodge past bucketheads. In his home city, Ezra could out-hide anyone.

Could he have gotten hurt?

The image of a wounded Ezra, sprawled out in the middle of nowhere flashed through his mind. Ezra certainly wasn't clumsy, so the idea of an accident like that happening was nearly impossible.

Then where was he?

The last signals Kanan had received from the boy were strange. Lately, the boy's aura had been completely off. It was no longer guarded, and he was a bit happier and lighter.

Like a new person was influencing him.

But who?

Kanan thought back to his previous thoughts. Perhaps a new friend? But new friends hadn't affected Ezra like that. Kanan's throat grew dry at the thought of Ezra being with a girl.

Ezra definitely wasn't ugly by any means. If anything, the young teenager was quite handsome.

The Jedi smirked to himself. Of course he wouldn't be mad if Ezra did have a girlfriend. The kid was probably a player. He seemed to talk smoothly around Sabine, although the older girl showed no interest.

Kanan sighed. He just wished Ezra would talk to him.

-0-

"Excuse me, ma'am? Have you seen this boy?"

"No."

"Pardon me sir, but have you seen this boy today?"

"No, not today."

"Miss! Miss! Did you see this boy today?"

"I've never seen him in my life."

John slumped down on his couch. He had been looking for Ezra for hours now, and sunset was only in a few hours. He had decided to go home for a while to clear his thoughts.

A slim figure plopping down next to him didn't phase him. His younger brother, Sean, had sat down.

Sean was now thirteen...and a dead look-a-like to his older brother. The only difference were their heights, clothes, and voices. John now towered over his sibling, and his voice much deeper.

"John, can you give me some advice?" Sean pleaded, fiddling with a chunk of his stray hair.

John, who was not in the mood, crossly looked over. "What?"

"Sooo...My school's dance is next weekend and I wanted to, well...ask this girl..." Sean flustered.

"I don't talk to girls, you know that." John said in a huff.

"I know you're gay. But Eddi, Jax, Reni, and Zack are busy, and Papa is out." Sean whined, referring to the other six female persuing members of their diverse family.

"Go talk to Mari, she's home." John snapped, getting up to make himself a cup of tea.

Sean grabbed a nearby pillow, squeezing it fiercly. "But she's a girl!"

"So? Maybe she can give you insight on girls."

"...Ew! I can't ask her!"

John had had enough. "Well why are you whining to me, I can't help you in any way!"

"But you're my big brother! Plus you're actually in a successful relationship."

John stopped what he was doing. Staring at his pot, he mumbled, "Yeah, I don't know about that anymore."

Sean stopped attacking his plush. "What? Ezra dumped you?"

John sighed, continuing making his tea. "No, not exactly. He was suppose to introduce me to his crew, but he never showed."

"But Ez never breaks his promises." Sean whispered.

"I know..."

"So what are you doing?" Sean asked.

"Excuse me?"

"What are you doing?! Ezra never breaks his promises."

John stopped heating his water. "I'm sure i'll see him tomorrow and he'll say he chickened out."

"Ezra. Never. Breaks. His. Promises. Especially not to you." Sean pushed, amber eyes impossibly wide.

John processed this information for a moment. What was he doing?! Making tea...trying to forget?

He suddenly dumped the boiling water down the drain, steam filling the kitchen. The young adult ran towards the door, grabbing his coat.

"Where are you-" Sean began. But John didn't hear him out, for he had already flown through the door, racing to get his speeder.

Because Ezra never broke his promises.

-0-

 **I wasn't sure about this chapter, or how to approach it for a while, but I think this is okay?**

 **Tell me what you guys think!**

 **-Shelby**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys-**

 **Thank you to all those who have been supportive. You guys rule!**

 **And if you read the latest chapter of my story Thirio, you know that I already said my condolences to the Orlando shooting victims and to Christina Grimmie. The fact that that club was specifically chosen...such a brutal attack breaks my heart. This story is about Ezra trying to come out to his loved ones. It's all about him trying to just be himself...and there's nothing more beautiful than that. So to all who have ever struggled with similar issues, or even completely unrelated problems...Be strong. Be brave. Everyone is beautiful.**

 **I wish this chapter was happy, but it isn't. I'm sorry it's really short. I promise there is more soon!**

 **Reminder: Ezra promised to bring Jonathan Nova, his boyfriend from Lothal, to meet the Ghost crew. The crew has no idea about Ezra identifying as gay, and think he is bringing a friend. Ezra can't do it, and runs off, hiding in a childhood spot under a boulder in the fields.**

-0-

Ezra traced the creases of his hands. He had been in the small cave for a while, and it was unbearably hot. He had never been inside for more than an hour or so at a time, even in the summer. The blistering heat of the two suns made the grass and sand feel like lit matches and hot stones. The rock he was under was cooking him like an oven.

Sweat seemed to pour out of him. His lips impossibly dry and cracked, his skin bright red. But Ezra couldn't care. He was oblivious to the fact he was being cooked alive.

He had lived a horrible life so far...why bother with what the future may hold? He figured if the world had been so cruel to him as a child, why would it get better for his adult life?

The only people who are suppose to love you...always...Family.

But his family despised what he was.

The only people who should always be there for you...Family.

But his family was gone.

And now he had a new chance at family. A community that supported and loved him for being himself.

But what if they had the same belief as his previous home? What if they were disgusted by him?

He'd be alone.

And his love. Jonathan Nova. A beautiful person inside and out. He always talked about them being together forever, how they had a everlasting love.

But they were young. Ezra was barely fifteen, John well into his sixteenth year.

What would happen when John turned eighteen? When he was an adult and Ezra still a minor...

Their relationship would have to come to a halt for a year and a half. Otherwise? John could be picked up for having relations with a minor. The man would be permanently be a sex offender. His reputation would be ruined, he would never get a job. Ezra couldn't bare to think about John being separated from his family for years just because of him. Prison was awful. That, Ezra knew from personal experience.

And if they stopped seeing each other for that year and a half?

John would be pursued by everyone. He would probably find a better, experienced, older and more mature partner. He would forget about Ezra.

Everyone always forgot about Ezra.

So it wasn't suicide per se. It was more...resting. Relieving everyone's, including his own, pain.

His eyelids became as heavy as his heart, and soon he drifted off, slumping onto the hot sand.

-0-

 **Please review, I love hearing from you guys. Tell me what you think! Every little comment makes my day!**

 **-Shelby**


	6. Chapter 6

**Heyyy!**

 **Look at this, updates within DAYS of each other! See? I told you guys there would be a new chapter soon!**

 **Okay, guys...THANK YOU to all my supporters! You guys RULE!**

 **And a reviewer pointed out that the consent age in Star Wars isn't really clear because of maturity rates of different alien species, and planet rules. Lothal is in the Outer rim, so i'd assume its not too strict...but I like to stick to about 18 in this story? Yeah, thinking about all of these different rules makes my head spin!**

 **Ok guys, please review and tell me what you think! Enjoy!**

-0-

The next time they met was about a week later.

John, who was ten years old, has been walking back home. He had spent his summer day at the ocean, playing with the waves and the sand crabs. It was fairly late when someone grabbed him, shoving him into a dark alley. Two older boys, roughly fourteen or fifteen pushed him to the ground.

"Wallet." One of the boys demanded, holding out his hand expectantly.

John furrowed his brow. "I-I don't have a wallet!"

The same boy rolled his eyes. "Give us your money."

John dug in his pockets. All he had was a single credit. He had only brought enough money to buy lunch, and that was all he had left.

The boy took the credit, pocketing the gold. "That's it?! One credit?"

"I-I swear!" John cried, tears pouring down his cheeks. He couldn't help himself...he was scared!

The other boy sneered. "Come on, you're well groomed, well fed. You must have money."

"I don't! Please don't hurt me!" John sobbed, cowering in terror.

They two muggers gave each other sinister looks.

"Well," One of them said "-I guess we'll just have to give you something to remember us by."

And then they pulled out switch blades.

It all happened so fast. Like lightning. Or the blinding sensation of turning on the lights after being in the dark for hours. John barley registered his surroundings, everything seemed to just...stop.

But the moment of confusion was soon over. It was replaced by agony.

A four inch blade stuck out of his stomach. A stream of blood began to pool, turning into a puddle. His head felt light, his eyes heavy. He fully collapsed, head conking against the pavement. As the world turned to a blurred mess, the sound of running footsteps faded away. The boys were gone.

Hot tears welled in his eyes. So this was it? He'd never see his mom again...his dad...his family.

Just before his eyes closed, he thought he saw something in front of his face. He didn't know what...whatever it was...it was beautiful. So bright and big...like the ocean he had spent the day at. His ears rang. Then his eyes shut.

Nothing.

...

...

…

He awoke to the soft hum of his mother's voice. The gentle lullaby she sung to her children when they were babies, or unwell. The smell of home...the lavender scent from his sister's perfume, the exotic spices of the kitchen, his father's strong pine smell, old books, fresh linen...all of it mixed in a wonderful cocktail that he called home.

His eyes opened. Blurry. The familiar shade of gray-blue flooded his vision. He was definitely in his room. A new scent suddenly assaulted him. Blood. The metallic scent than made him want to throw up...that wasn't home.

His head lulled to the side. There sat him mother. The woman who went by Olyssa sat beside him, dark hard braided with ribbons that matched her bright eyes. She sang with such beauty: every word filled with meaning.

"Ma?" John whispered, squinting in confusion.

Olyssa stopped her song. Her face was contorted in worry. "Johnny..."

"What happened?" John asked.

His mother looked away and then back again. "You were mugged, someone took your money, your shoes and your jacket."

Dark eyes widened. "What? Then I'm okay?"

Pursed lips answered, "No sweetie, you were stabbed."

"What?!" John gaped, looking himself down. Sure enough his mid-section was wrapped in bandages.

"Mmhm." Olyssa murmured. "It pains me to tell you that you're lucky to be alive. The blade missed your stomach by a centimeter. You'll be fine."

John winced, suddenly noticing the dull throbbing sensation. "How did you find me? I remember being in an alley..."

She smiled softly. "Your little friend dragged you all the way back here. He's helping your siblings make dinner I believe. Would you like me to go get him?"

John thought for a moment. His little friend?

"Yeah...go get him please."

Olyssa nodded curtly. "Good, you should thank him. He saved your life."

…

John was not expecting the person who walked through his door.

His so called 'savior' shut the door behind himself, then sat in the chair that his mother had been in.

There was a long moment of silence between the two.

"Why did you save me?" John finally asked. It was the boy who had tried to steal from him only a few weeks ago. His skinny arm still wrapped in a cast.

The boy hadn't looked him in the eye once yet. His dark wave of navy hair covered his face. With his head down, tanned hands tightly balled up in his lap, the child was giving off a very closed off vibe.

He simply shrugged at the question.

John blew hair out of his eyes. "I mean, why go through all of that trouble just for me? I don't know you, you don't know me."

The boy still made no sound or movement.

"You don't even know my name." John whispered, feeling quite awful. This kid...he was so small. Plus with the broken arm...He had dragged John all the way home.

"Why would you do that for a stranger?" John pleaded, dark eyes looking down.

There was another moment of silence.

"I didn't want you to die."

John's head snapped up. The kid...

"But-" John began.

The boy interrupted, "I don't know you. You don't know me. But I didn't want you to just be another corpse on the street."

John's face softened. He may have only been nine, but he knew how sad the truth was.

"Th-Thank you. You saved me." John said ever so softly.

The kid looked up. His eyes...So bright and big...like the ocean. The blue was entrancing and yet so familiar. It then suddenly dawned on John. The last this he had seen after being stabbed was this boy's large blue eyes.

"I'm Jonathan Nova, but I go by John."

A moment of silence.

"My name is Ezra Bridger."

-0-

"We have two hours at most before the sun goes down." Sabine shrugged, leaning against a brick wall. The ghost crew was gathered in the Bridger's old family home. They had checked every part of Lothal, including the hospitals. It all seemed hopeless. It was like Ezra Bridger had simply vanished.

"So what? Maybe someone snatched him." Zeb suggested. He was trying to maintain his usual rough attitude, but they could all see that he was very worried.

"No...I can feel his emotions. He's not scared or angry...He conscious and yet...it's like he's completely void of any feelings." Kanan tried to describe with a shake of his head.

Hera sighed, "He's fifteen, how far could he have gone?"

Kanan eyed his watch. It was about 6 pm. Six hours of Ezra being gone.

"It's not like we can exactly file a missing persons report." Sabine huffed. Ezra was one of the most wanted people in the outer rim.

"We need to rule out the possibilities." Kanan said, trying to remain calm for the sake of his team and Ezra.

Zeb suggested, "We can pretty much rule out him being in anywhere in the city."

Sabine nodded. "The hospitals, clinics, community centers and soup kitchens have my number. If anyone with Ezra's description is present they said they'd call me right away."

"That's a start." Hera bit her lip. "And Chop is back at the Ghost incase he goes home."

"One of the residents of Tarkin Town said he'd call me if Ezra came by." Sabine offered again.

Kanan closed his eyes to think. "If you were Ezra, where would hide?"

Sabine suddenly exploded. "We don't know that he ran away!"

The rest of the crew blinked in astonishment. Usually Sabine was calm and collected.

Hera put a gentle hand on the Mandalorian's shoulder for comfort, only for it to be shoved off.

"Sabine-..." Hera started, unsure on what to say.

"Hera! He could be hurt! Or-...Or maybe he got caught? What if the Empire arrested him a-and he was taken off of Lothal and they are interrogating him right now and what if they're torturing him and what if he's in pain-" Sabine ranted, pacing the length of the old family room.

Kanan cut her off. "Sabine, calm down!" The Jedi approached her, grabbing her by the shoulders.

Sabine growled, pushing the man away. "He wouldn't just run away! Why would he do that?!"

Zeb knew better than to approach the angry woman. "'Bine, maybe he got nervous and panicked?"

Sabine sighed, her red face returning back to the normal olive tone. "Then what do we do?"

Kanan looked along the walls of Ezra's old house. Spider webs and dust coated the inside and out, broken bottles and random litter made for a second floor above the wood, graffiti and weeds climbed the walls, even the flickering lights had a fair amount of dead insects collected inside. The home...it had once been beautiful and warm, so full of life. It had been the home to the Bridgers. It was where Ezra and his parents were suppose to be most safe. But now? It was just an abandoned building. Where the scum of the street gathered to vandalize and drink. The only sign of life were the now dead bugs.

"Well-" Kanan began "-Ezra said he was going to bring his friend to meet us, right?"

"Yeah..." Sabine murmured, slightly embarrassed about her outburst.

"But he said he'd bring him to the Ghost almost six hours ago." Hera reminded everyone.

"So you think the kid is with his friend." Zeb stated, brow raised.

"That's what I'd bet on. We need to find who ever this 'friend' was and ask him some questions if Ezra's not with him" Kanan said.

Hera shifted, clearly still quite worried. "Okay, I think that's our best plan at the moment, there's only one problem."

Kanan looked bewildered. "What?"

"We have no idea who this person is. Their age, race, name...nada." Hera rolled her eyes.

"Right..." Kanan nodded, rubbing his temple in annoyance.

"Well Ezra did say this person was a 'he', so we can start there." Hera suggested.

Sabine was thoroughly pissed off. "Okay, so that narrows it down to half the city."

Hera was quite done herself. "Sabine, we're trying."

"I know, I know!" Sabine hissed. "I just want to find him!"

"Alright then, have any other suggestions?" Hera asked almost sarcastically.

Zeb shot Kanan a worried look. Hera and Sabine fighting was never pretty.

"Well...If Ezra said he was his friend, then he's probably around his age, right? So a boy between the ages of thirteen and eighteen?" Sabine added.

Zeb exhaled loudly. "Probably."

"Okay okay, a boy in his middle to late teen years." Kanan narrowed it down.

"Right." Hera confirmed. "And Ezra only mentioned one person, so maybe stay away from groups of people."

"Fair enough." Zeb decided. "So now what?"

But before anyone could answer, Hera's com link went off.

The harsh beeping ended quickly as Hera slapped the answer button, hurriedly picking up.

"Hello? Ezra is that you?!" She basically screamed.

There was a second of silence before Chopper answered in an array of annoyed sounds.

"Ugh Chop, what? If Ezra hasn't come home please don't call." Hera replied crossly.

Chopper then made an assortment of furious sounds before hanging up.

"Well?" Zeb asked, worry splayed across his face.

Hera shook her head. "I don't know, he hung up."

Kanan face palmed. "Whatever, I say we run the streets again?"

They all murmured in a disappointed agreeing tone.

-0-

John was absolutely exhausted. He hadn't eaten since the early morning, hadn't sat down in hours, and had been talking non-stop since the afternoon. The suns would set soon. He didn't want to walk around at night...the last time he did that he had gotten stabbed.

After his younger brother had given him a quick pep-talk, Jonathan had gone to the shipyard. Using the useful tricks his boyfriend had taught him, John was easily able to sneak inside the buildings. From there he dodged all of the security guards and tried to keep out of sight of the cameras. He went to every ship and asked the owner if a boy matching Ezra's general description lived there or if they had seen him. After interviewing about a hundred people in a hundred different garages, he finally had a lead. It was small, but it was something. A few residents had said a small kid with dark hair had been seen near the Eastern buildings. So another hour was spent looking into every storage room, finally finding an fighter plane with orange linings. Upon knocking on the door, he wasn't surprised to see a droid. It was about six at night, most people would be out to eat dinner. He had probably talked to more droids than living beings so far, thankfully he had studied droid as his language in school.

This particular droid was quite out-dated and customized. If John hadn't been so worried for his boyfriend, he would've found it funny how the droid had matching paint colors to the ship behind it.

"Hello, I-, uh, I'm looking for someone named Ezra?" John winced, fully expecting the door to be slammed in his face.

Instead the droid buzzed in reply. John translated it's beeping to what was "And I'm trying to get rid of someone named Ezra."

John smirked. This was totally Chopper, the wacky little droid Ezra had told him tales about.

"You're Chopper right?" John said just to confirm. In response, the droid beeped in suspicions.

"Don't worry, i'm a friend of Ezra Bridger. You know him right?"

The droid beeped positively.

John had never been more relieved in his life. "Thank the stars. Is he here?"

Chopper answered no.

John's relief faded. "No? Do you know where he is?"

Chopper beeped lowly. He had no idea where the kid was.

"Okay...Umm...Is the rest of the crew here?" John asked. The human was quite surprised to find that the crew-members were currently out searching for Ezra. So Ezra didn't just bail on him alone.

Swallowing thickly, John continued. "Can you call the captain please?"

Chopper grumbled in response but proceeded to call the Captain.

The com link rang for maybe two seconds before a female voice picked up, pretty much yelling for Ezra. Before John could ask the woman anything, which he presumed was Hera Syndulla the kickass twi'lek pilot, Chopper hung up in anger to his treatment.

John smiled in condolence. "Sorry Chopper, i'm sure they're just worried about Ez."

Chopper made a confused sound at the mention of Ezra's nickname.

'Who are you exactly?' The droid asked in a series of noises.

John smiled. "My name is Jonathan Nova, but you can call me John. Ezra is my boyfriend."

-0-

 **PLEASE REVIEW and give me your opinions and thoughts! I read them all and they really do make me smile!**

 **Again- my medical knowledge is novice at best. Could i have asked basic questions to my husband who is a doctor? Yes. Did I? Noooope lmao.**

 **And what did you gives think about the name Olyssa? It's one of my friends names, pronounced basically Alyssa, but I think its so pretty!**

 **ALSO - Ezra's secret it OUT!...To Chopper. Opinions? Thoughts?**

 **Alright guys, have a great day :)**

 **-Shelby**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys!**

 **How are you? I feel like its been a long time since I updated! (um shelby, its because you haven't updated in like a month...)**

 **Yeah, sorry about the crazy updates, Two updates in two days, nothing for a month? yeah aahaheh.**

 **As always...THANK YOU ALL FOR THE KIND WORDS AND SUPPORT! It means a lot to me! At first this story got rejected quite a bit(which I understand, this isn't for everyone and that's okay. You do you!)but anyways, just knowing that ya'll like this and the concept makes me so happy! In fact, someone loved this story so much that requests have been made and sent to me. So I feel obliged to answer some of your questions!**

 **\- 'When does this story take place?'**

 **-Right after Ezra turns 15, so a few months after he joins the crew.**

 **\- 'Will there be more intimate moments between John and Ezra?'**

 **-Actually...you guys will have to wait and see...Nothing too detailed here, but...you'll have to keep reading ;D**

 **-'Will I collab on a story with someone else?'**

 **-Of course! If you wish to collab with me, please, pm or leave a review, I would love to have the honor!**

-' **Can I do fanart and post it on devianart?'**

 **-YES OF COURSE. I know I talked to someone earlier and they asked me, but if you guys want to make art of this, please do! Tell me if you do because i'd love to see it. But I do know someone is in the very early stages of drawing something up for this so I can't wait to see that :)**

 **\- 'Describe John and his story just as a reminder please?'**

 **-Jonathan Nova, or John, is about 16 or so. Taller than Ezra, amber eyes, dark brown hair, tan like Ezra. His family owns a shipping-trading company so they travel a lot, but they own a house on Lothal where the kids go to school and such. Ezra and John meet when Ezra unsuccessfully tries to steal from the Nova family. John breaks Ezra's arm on accident during this incident, but helps Ezra afterwards. Ezra repays the deed by saving John from a few violent muggers in a alley, dragging John's hurt body all the way to the Nova household. They become best friends soon after. When Ez is about 13, John about 15, they start dating. (Ezra's parents were very closed to the idea of same gender relationships or anything out of man-woman marriage, The Nova family is as open as it can get.) But only like a month into their relationship, the Nova family goes on a long tour to find quicker routes, leaving Ezra on Lothal. Almost two years later - Ezra has joined the Ghost crew and everything is okay...until a certain boy shows up again. They begin to date again and Ezra is faced with the problem of telling the crew about his love or try to hide it. Ezra, afraid of the consequences, runs. John is now trying to find his boyfriend. I would describe John as warm hearted, funny, and strong willed.**

 **Last question! 'Thoughts of the new trailer for the next SWR season?'**

 **\- guys i can't even answer this because my mind is still exploding. I think Ezra's new look is good, he should be 17 in the series now. He looks a tad bit older. Compare the new Ezra to season 1? he looks much older.**

 **Ok ok enough of my chatter! Onto the story!**

 **-0-**

-0-

Thanks to Chopper, John now knew his next move.

Find the Ghost crew.

Ezra had described the crew in vague physical detail before. There was Kanan, a pretty tall man with brown hair and blue-green eyes. Zeb...a lasat. Not much more to descriptive there, even seeing a lasat was fairly rare, so odds were any lasat he did see would probably be Zeb. Then Hera, a emerald twi'lek and pilot.

And Sabine... a young mandalore with rainbow hair matching her gear.

When Ezra had first described the girl, John felt almost jealous. Sabine sounded mature, beautiful, and an overall wonderful person. And who didn't love an explosive artist?

But his doubts on Ezra's feelings were soon put to rest. Ezra never really talked about Sabine. He seemed either more focused on John, nature, or some other random thing. John actually felt quite silly when he realized this 'Sabine' was more of an older sister figure than a love interest to Ezra.

Then again Sabine was older than Ezra by five years, putting the two at a difference of twenty to fifteen.

It was now about seven. The daylight had disappeared, the only residue of the bright was the dimming sunset. Oranges, pinks and blues mixed to what should have been beautiful. But it was just painful to watch. The oranges were Ezra's skin, the blue his eyes and hair, the pink his soft lips. John couldn't help but feel heartbroken as the sunset slowly disappeared as if it had never happened, letting the dark blue night sky fill the heavens. Just like Ezra, the colors had vanished. The bright glow of the moons helped his vision slightly, but he was thankful for the artificial glow of the street lamps. Due to heavy factory and ship smog, star sightings were rare. However, the sky seemed fairly clear. A few dozen dim glowing orbs were spread about, all looking as though they might go out any minute.

John shivered. Nights on Lothal were quite the contrast to the usual day. Daytime the planet acted like a desert, night an arctic waste land.

"Out of all the damn planets i've been too, Ezra couldn't have lived on a tropical paradise?" John seethed through chattering teeth. Part of him wanted to go back to his house and change into something warmer. After all, all he was wearing was meant for the hot day. Thankful he had his fleece coat, he zipped it up, pulling the hood over his head. Mind over body. He wasn't cold if he knew Ezra was somewhere on the planet. A heart crushing thought occurred to John. If he was cold wearing long pants, hiking boots and a fleece jacket, how was Ezra doing? Ezra always wore that stupid orange light jumpsuit, which was meant for combat and activity, not withstanding a cold night like now.

That only pushed him more. Ezra needed him.

Chopper had given him the location of Hera's com link. It looked as though the Ghost crew was looking around the streets in the West part of Capital city.

And at the rate he was walking right now? By the time he even covered one street, the crew would probably be gone, and the sun would be up. John needed a speeder.

His family had a few speeders...but again, walking distance back to his home to get the keys, then to the yard where they were parked would take about two hours. Every second counted! He needed a bike...now!

John's amber eyes darted around, disappointment settling in his chest when there was no rental places nearby or open. And then he saw the bar.

Old Jho's bar and diner...a Lothal local business. John smiled fondly at the memories of going inside. Ezra being so excited to show him the little restaurant, repeating over and over again on how much he loved the place. When they had just been 'friends' they used to go all the time. But since officially being in a relationship, they hadn't eaten together out in public yet. Ezra was just so afraid...

But Lothal had gotten remarkably bigger in the past five years. Less 'locals' and more business people passing through. It was a trading central! Of course, that's why the Nova family had decided to make their home there. Half of the planet was covered in water, making it a hot spot for fishing and boats. Then the other half of Lothal was all fields, perfect conditions for farming. The Empire had definitely taken advantage of the small planet.

John tried to clear his mind. He needed to stay focused for Ezra.

That's when his gaze landed upon the bike-rack outside the bar. Stealing wasn't really his thing, in fact, he had never actually stolen anything in his life. Ezra, on the other hand, well...the couple had met while he was trying to rob John. John closed his eyes for a moment, trying to recall what Ezra had told him about stealing.

…

…

…

…

 _A twelve year old John Nova sat on a dock, swinging his feet off the side. His best friend was supposed to meet him at the port so they could go swimming and play on the beaches._

 _Jonathan was quite startled when he was suddenly pushed right into the water. As the initial shock of the cold water faded and he kicked up to the surface, he turned to face his attacker._

 _A short boy stood on the dock, laughing his heart out. The boy was quite small, only about ten or so._

" _Ezra Bridger you dork!" John yelled, swimming toward the dock ladder._

 _Ezra calmed down, still laughing at the sight of his wet friend. "I'm sorry John, I couldn't help myself."_

 _John climbed the ladder, water dripping off of him. "I hate you."_

" _Aww I hate you too!" Ezra joked, starting to laugh again._

 _John rolled his eyes, wiping soppy hair from his face. "Come here you idiot."_

 _The two smiled as they came in for a hug. John had been on a small trip with his father on the other side of Lothal. He had only been gone for two weeks but the two friends still missed each other._

 _As they parted, Ezra began to talk. "Guess what?!"_

 _John smiled, "What's up?"_

" _I got you something!" Ezra said proudly, pulling out a small package from his bag._

 _The older boy raised a brow. "What is it?"_

 _Ezra rolled his bright eyes. "Well I dunno, why don't you open it, dumbo?"_

 _John's smile grew at this friend's antics. He hurriedly ripped open the paper, revealing the gift._

 _John gasped, "Ezra! How did you get this!?"_

 _Ezra shrugged. "I saw it and thought you'd like it."_

 _John held it in his palm. It was a small circle of cardboard with two earrings in the center. The earrings were small black diamonds. John took them off of the packaging and gently pushed them in his piercings. His older sister had pierced his ears over a year ago but he didn't actually have any earrings of his own. He always meant to buy a pair for himself, he just never got around to it. Plus jewelry was expensive!_

" _Do they look good?" John asked excitedly, looking at his reflection in the water._

" _They look great." Ezra smiled, happy his friend liked the gesture._

 _John suddenly jumped on Ezra, developing the much shorter boy in a monster hug. "Thank you Ez!"_

" _Yeah yeah." Ezra's voice came out muffled._

 _John suddenly stopped hugging the boy. "Wait...how much were these?"_

 _Ezra looked to his feet. "Um...I don't remember."_

" _Ezra. How did you pay for these?" John asked, suddenly feeling awful. He knew Ezra's situation wasn't great. The boy had no current family to care for him. So he was pretty much on his own, the city being his provider. Money didn't come easy to him, and neither did food. Sure, the Nova family offered Ezra a room and meals. But the boy always denied the constant care, only eating there if John ate as well. John knew his friend resided in an abandoned radio tower on the outskirts of the city. Where the boy got his every day food or any money from still baffled John._

 _Ezra didn't look up, rocking back and forth on his heels._

" _Ezra! Did you steal these?" John asked, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder._

" _I mean...they were kinda expensive but I wanted to get you something nice..." Ezra revealed in one small breath._

 _John sighed. "Ez..."_

" _I'm sorry...they clerk didn't even notice though!" Ezra said._

" _That's not the point though."_

" _We can't take them back! They're yours now. Plus what would we do? March in and confess to stealing?! They'd lock me up for ages." Ezra pointed out._

 _John bit his lip. "True...But Ezra, I don't want you stealing! I don't want you to risk getting caught over me...or anything!"_

 _Ezra kicked dirt with his toe. "But the store dude didn't even see me. I'm like a freaking ninja!"_

 _John laughed. "How'd you steal them?"_

 _Ezra's smile grew mischievous. "Well...you gotta act cool, like you belong. Then just as your walking by, grab it and walk out the door. If they start to yell, I start running."_

 _John shook his head. "You're going to get hurt one day."_

" _Nah, i'm careful." Ezra joked, kicking off his shoes. "You ready to go?"_

 _John laughed. "Yeah just waiting on you, slowpoke! Hurry up!"_

 _The two boys laughed, running off the dock and jumping into the water._

…

…

…

...

Present John rubbed his earlobe, fingertips gliding over his black earrings.

What would Ezra do?

He'd suck it up and go steal a fucking bike.

John then did what Ezra had once told him. He started walking towards the bikes as naturally as he could.

-0-

Kanan looked at his watch. It was about seven at night...Ezra had been gone for almost several hours now. The crew had all decided stopping by old Jho's diner for a quick drink. They had all been searching for hours, and after a small argument, they decided to stop. Jho's bar was a obvious choice. Not only was it nearby, but Jho often helped out the rebels.

As the rest of the crew scarfed down their meals, Kanan decided to talk with Jho himself.

Upon being approached separately from the crew, Jho leaned over the bar and whispered, "You looking for a job?"

"No, not right now. We are looking for Ezra though." Kanan admitted.

"Ezra Bridger? He's missing?" Jho's robotic voice asked.

"Well sort of. He told us he would bring one of his friends to meet us at noon but he never showed."

"Ah." Jho nodded, starting to polish a glass. "And you want to know if I've seen the boy today?"

"You got it." Kanan sighed.

"I haven't seen Ezra in over a month." Jho said truthfully.

"Dammit." Kanan swore. "Then do you perhaps know any of Ezra's friends?"

"Well besides you guys and his parents years ago, I've only seen the boy with one other person. He used to tag along with his father to watch us do business. Those two boys used to come in here all the time. But I haven't seen them be together in over a year." Jho said.

Kanan nodded. "You wouldn't happen to remember what this boy looked like, do you?" The Jedi slipped a credit across the counter.

Jho took the money slyly, leaning in closer. "Tall, brown hair, tan...He was about 2 years or so older than Ezra. Another thing, his family owns a trading company. They ship in most of my supplies."

Kanan sighed and slipped the bartender another credit. "And you wouldn't happen to have the business name, would you?"

Jho took the credit. "Lemme check my file cabinet."

"Thanks Jho." Kanan sighed, walking away to his crew.

Tall, brown hair, and tan. Well, that described about twenty percent of Lothal's population. Hopefully once they had the business name of the family they could track the boy and ask him a few questions.

Kanan informed Ghost crew the news and description of Ezra's old friend. From all of their faces, he could see they were feeling quite skeptical.

"We don't even know if hes the friend Ezra was going to bring." Sabine huffed.

Zeb shrugged in reply. "It's a start."

"So...we're looking for a boy who may or may not be on Lothal? And was last seen with Ezra two years ago?" Hera raised a brow.

Kanan held up his hands in defense. "Look I know it sounds like a wild tooka chase..."

"It does." Sabine scoffed, chugging the last of her drink.

Kanan face-palmed. "I'm trying here!"

Their squabble was interrupted by Jho, who slid a piece of paper across the bar to Sabine.

"This is them. I mainly do business with an older man and his sons...but i've seen Ezra's little friend tag along and watch us do business before."

"Nova Shipping: The best way in the milk way." Sabine read skeptically.

Zeb wiped his hands on a napkin. "So where do we start now?"

Hera took the business card from Sabine. "They have a warehouse...and phone numbers."

"It's a long shot I admit, but thats all we got." Kanan shrugged.

The crew all stood, leaving a tip for the meal and information. Upon walking outside, they were surprised at what faced them.

"My bike is gone!" Kanan spat, seething in rage. Someone had taken the Jedi's speeder, leaving the magnet lock broken on the ground. Of all of the nights someone had to steal his damn bike...

Hera put a calming hand on the man's shoulder. "We're not going to get far with two on a speeder."

"She's right, Kanan. It'll run out of juice within an hour." Sabine added, shifting her weight to a hip.

Kanan pinched the bridge of his nose with a agitated groan. "Please tell me it has a tracker."

Sabine smirked, holding up her watch which a hologram glowed from. "Mmhm, I already know exactly where it's heading."

"At least something is going right today." Kanan said through grit teeth.

"Yeah Kanan, we know where your stolen bike is." Zeb laughed.

And for once in what felt like a long time, the crew laughed.

"Alright guys, let's get going." Kanan sighed, a small smile escaping him.

Sabine looked to her watch again. "Looks like we're heading towards...Ezra's old tower?"

The crew's smiles all fell within a second. They all knew Ezra had resided in an old communication tower on the outskirts of the city for a couple of years. But the boy had always said it had been abandoned, that nobody ever tried to enter or gave it more than a glance.

So now someone who just happened to steal one of their bikes was heading to the secluded tower?

"What? You think it could be the kid?" Zeb asked, quite stunned.

"Who else would it be? He knows how to steal stuff, maybe he saw our bikes, took yours, and headed back to where he was comfortable." Hera suggested.

Kanan shook his head in disbelief. "I guess..."

Sabine pushed passed the man and began unlocking her own speeder. "Well? Let's go find Ezra."

 **-0-**

 **Well? Thoughts? Love it? Hate it? Tell me!**

 **Please review and tell me what you think, I read EVERYTHING and love all of it!**

 **Have a great rest of the summer!**

 **-Shelby**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello!**

 **Sorry this update took a dreadful long time but I was just recently in a car accident and typing has been quite a challenge. Also my laptop was wrecked in the crash so many of the stories I had been working on were lost!**

 **So I hope you will enjoy this new chapter of Coming Out...**

 **BUT WAIT SPECIAL SURPRISE DON'T SKIP I THINK YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS:**

 **Due to various requests, the wonderful writer, xX Lustful Desires Xx, has written a short story BASED OFF OF COMING OUT!**

 **YES! This is based off of the love between our very own John and Ezra! It's a beautiful and romantic scene that gives some insight on what might be the more intimate side of their relationship. I MUST WARN YOU...It is a rated M story, so for you mature readers who do wish to seek this story out, I will warn you that it is graphic!**

 **Search : xX Lustful Desires Xx as the author, or Ask and You Shall Receive as a story title and it should appear there sooner or later.**

 **I've already read it and may I say...It's beautiful. I normally don't read intimate scenes on fan fiction, but call be biased because these are my two babies, but...I loved it :)**

 **Alright, please enjoy the latest chapter :**

-0-

John felt awful.

First he lost his boyfriend and now he stole someone's speeder.

John cursed himself for not bringing much money. If he had enough he would have left the cost of the damages and maybe a note...but he had no time. Ezra needed him.

He had to admit it though, the bike made searching the streets a hell of a lot easier. In what probably have taken hours on foot, John had finished in less than fifteen minutes. But there was still no sign of the Ghost crew or Ezra.

John closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them he half expected Ezra to be there, teasing him and laughing. Only darkness met his eyes.

Swiping some stray hair from his face, he looked around the city. It was eight o'clock, and the night had almost completely settled in. He didn't know what to do anymore. There were no more hideouts, stores, restaurants, vents, sewers, or houses to look in. Ezra had been missing for hours.

A sudden buzzing from his pocket jolted him. Swearing under his breath, he took out his comlink. Groaning as he saw it was his mother, he pressed accept.

"Jonathan? Do you have any idea what time it is?!" His mother, Olyssa, started to squack.

"Mum..." John whined, face flushed.

Olyssa just continued. "We waited half an hour for you, if you're going to miss supper at least let me-"

"Ma! I'm sorry, i've been really busy!" John sighed.

"Doing what?" The hologram of his mother asked.

John hesitated before speaking, "Ezra...he's missing. He was suppose to meet me a while ago but he never showed up."

"Maybe he forgot? He told me about his new...job." Olyssa said.

"Yeah, but Ezra wouldn't just 'forget'...and if he was preoccupied at the time, he wouldn't leave me hanging for several hours."

His mother looked quite shocked. "Hours? John, I hate to say, but maybe he's in some serious trouble. He goes against those Imperial men all the time."

John shook his head. "No Ma, I went to his crew's ship and-"

She interrupted quickly, "John...I love Ezra, you know that. But stay away from the whole 'rebel' thing."

"Ma I swear, I'm not doing anything like that. But I just wanted to ask if he was there. But apparently his entire crew is looking for him! I'm trying to find either the crew or Ezra now."

Olyssa looked uncertain. "Johnny..."

"I'll be fine, Ezra'll be fine."

"Alright. I trust you. Just find Ezra and come home safe, okay?"

"Okay Ma...Love you."

"Love you, and Johnny?"

John's finger lifted off of the hang up button. "Yeah?"

"Remember...Ezra had a whole 'nother life before you. If you know where they are, check that life's places of comfort."

John nodded before turning the hologram off. His mother was right...Ezra had a wonderful life with his family for seven years...Then he had lived alone on the streets for a while...

So where would he be? John sighed, maybe he should check the tower again.

 **-0-**

 **Ok, that's all I have for now!**

 **PLEASE REVIEW! Even if its just a few words, every letter makes me smile. I love hearing from ya'll!**

 **-Shelby**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello! This chapter is a bit of backstory about John and Ezra and their relationship. It's not all 'lovey'dovey' stuff here, but it'd still cute.**

 **Please enjoy!**

-0-

Ezra scowled as he scrambled out of the way as a couple walking hand in hand nearly trampled him.

Cursing the two lovers, Ezra carried on, dark hair covering his equally dark eyes. The twelve year old boy was not in a good mood. In fact, he felt quite shitty.

His best friend, John, had just announced he had a boyfriend.

Ezra found himself wandering into the grassy plains outside Capitol City.

"Stupid Johnathan Nova." The twelve year old mumbled, kicking clumps of dirt out of his path. Feeling satisfied watching the sand scatter and be lost in the wind, he began picking up handfuls of the loose soil going on a angry rampage.

He chucked a rock to his left, screaming "I HATE YOU!"

Ezra ripped a poor flower from its bed with a yell, "AHHHHHH!"

He charged at a small mound of sand, not realizing a large boulder sat underneath. "DON'T LEA-" He began to yell, getting cut short when the wind was knocked out of him. He fell to the ground, wheezing in pain. "Uhh...Don't leave me..." The boy groaned, sand sticking to his sweat and tears.

He was slow to get up, grunting at the dull pain in his stomach.

He wouldn't hear or see John for two months.

Ezra had been trudging through a street, looking for a garbage can that looked like it had something of value in it when he saw John. Ezra barely recognized him. He was, of course, the same older lanky teen. But his hair was neatly styled and he was wearing his school uniform. His hand was laced in that of another boy's. The boy was about the same height as John, skin and hair like clouds. He reminded Ezra of everything he was not.

To avoid confrontation, Ezra dove behind a shrub, watching the couple pass by.

John was laughing and grinning. "Did you see the look on Mrs. Tsue's face? Oh God it was priceless!"

The boy returned the smile. "That poor teacher."

"Ah I can't wait for summer." John cooed, a loving look upon his face.

The other boy leaned his head on John's shoulder. "Me too."

Ezra shrunk back as they passed, soon out of earshot. Ezra sat against the wall of the building next to him. Everything hurt. His chest felt like a ship had parked on, his heart beating faster than ever. He couldn't feel his limbs or his face. The messy lines of tears began pooling on his shirt, but Ezra couldn't seem to care. John was in love, and it wasn't with him.

It was another two months before Ezra saw John again.

He was so hungry. He hadn't eaten in days and his water supply was low. He had tried to steal from a small shop on the edge of town but was caught and beaten. Luckily they didn't turn him in to the Imperials, probably because they didn't want attention on some of their less than legal merchandise.

So Ezra was left at his tower. Everything hurt to move, his stomach because of hunger, his head from dehydration, his skin because of the bruising, and his heart because of John.

John. John. John. John. John. John. John.

All he could think about was John. John was the reason he was in this situation! If it hadn't been for John...

"What?" Ezra asked himself, surprising himself with his hoarse whisper. "If John hadn't made you fall in love?" Ezra licked his peeling lips. What he wouldn't give for anything to eat...

His eyes looked around his home for something he could sell...But he had sold and traded everything of value within the years and months. His heat generator, the utensils, all his medicine, even his parent's old clothing to a thrift shop. He had nothing left.

Feeling inspired by a sudden jolt of pain from his gut, Ezra began searching his hidden pockets for something. Anything. A single credit, a piece of gum, anything of value... His hand found something small and cold. Quickly pulling his treasure out, he was disappointed to find that it was a key. The key John had given him to his house.

"There's food in there." He whispered. He shook his head angrily. "I could never break into his house! I might see him and...I can't see him. Not now."

But the key itself was made of silver. That could be worth something. Shrugging, Ezra pocketed it and started slowly trudging towards the pawn shop where he sold the key to be melted down for just enough credits to made a quick supplies run. Ezra never made it to the store.

John was standing outside the front of it, a cigarette in his fingers.

Ezra was more than confused. John didn't smoke. He actually had hated smokers, joking that he'd never end up a toothless loon. But there he was in all his dreamy glory, a smoking stick in his teeth.

A pang of hunger reminded Ezra what he was doing. Food. Water. Medicine.

But John was standing right next to the only entrance and this was the only store that'd be open at this time. Ezra shut his eyes for a moment. Maybe he could somehow use his 'abilities' to sneak past John.

Ever since Ezra could remember, he could do things others couldn't. Jump farther, have small visions, know what would happen ahead of time, even float things with enough effort.

Ezra decided to focus on the cigarette. Closing his eyes and focusing on the object, he blocked everything else out. His pain, John, the sounds, the smells...Everything was gone except for that cigarette. And with a small inhale, Ezra asked for the object to be thrown to the ground about fifteen feet away. Quickly opening his eyes, Ezra was delighted to see the teen chasing after his runaway cigarette. Ezra laughed, something that hurt but felt good at the same time. He headed inside the store, almost clearing the entrance when a warm hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him back out.

Getting ready to claw his attackers eyes out, Ezra stopped himself when he realized he was looking up at Johnathan Nova.

"Ezzy? Is that you?" He asked, breath smelling of burnt paper and plant.

Ezra immediately pushed away. "Get off me."

John's face crinkled. "Ezra? Are you okay?"

"You don't have the right to ask me that!" Ezra suddenly bursted, attracting the stares of a couple people walking by. The older boy blinked owlishly and led his younger companion to sit down in a small meadow behind the store. Ezra was too tired to even protest, letting his friend push him like a sick sheep.

"You don't look so good...Here, have some water." John decided with a huff, pulling a water tin from his backpack. By this point Ezra was barely awake, everything seeming to fall on him at once. Using his 'powers' used what little strength he had left, and he just wanted to shut his eyes.

John gently pulled the younger boy into his lap, cradling his head into the crook of his arm. He lowered the water to his parted lips, finally giving Ezra some sort of energy.

Ezra gently hummed a sigh of content. The soft stroking in his hair felt nice, and he found himself drifting.

A few hours later when he awoke he immediately knew where he was. The Nova family couch. He remembered when he first woken up there, when he had first been so confused and terrified. Then he remembered all of the times he and John had had sleepovers, telling secrets, playing games, watching movies...years of friendship all in one room. Everything seemed blurry but suddenly someone was shoving a tray of hot soup, fruit, and milk into his lap. Eating slowly, Ezra's pounding headache lessened into a dull throb. After the food was eaten, someone took the tray away without a word. And soon Ezra was laying back down, slender fingers rubbing his back as he drifted back to sleep, a woman's voice singing to him as someone washed the dishes in the background.

-0-

 **Thanks for reading! Please leave a review I read everything!**

 **(Fixed the update mistake!)**

 **-Shelby**


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